Poetic Reflections: imperfect

Let me state unequivocally that if you were hoping to read something perfect, sorry, not gonna happen. I write to my own beat, an irregular rhythm that doesn’t follow rules, it simply flows and pulses and is. That doesn’t excuse accidental mistakes of spelling, punctuation or grammar. But my perception of those things may differ from yours too and besides that, nothing is perfect. Ever. So the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can stop expecting it and being disappointed by life and the people in yours. Whether friends, relatives, significant others, neighbors (oh yeah, neighbors are prone to not being perfect). Pets, celebrities, heroes, politicians (politicians will say what you want to hear, and paint a rosy picture of a perfect world, so of course they will let you down — but those who achieve something notable are the ones to remember).

Personally, I demand imperfection! It saves me a lot of time and trouble. Trying to be perfect in an imperfect world is like swimming against a tsunami. You really shouldn’t try that!

Give in to the slightly off. See the beauty in the asymmetric and quirky elements around us. If everything looked the same and unextraordinary, think how dull the world would be. There must be madness, must be corruption, must be treason, must be canyons, must be volcanoes, must be bad weather, and must be monsters.

No matter how perfect a person may seem, there will always be tiny (or glaring) defects and wrinkles that bring to light the fact he or she is merely human. Not that I’m saying we shouldn’t strive to be as close to perfect as possible, to improve ourselves and seek to do better when we fail or falter. I’m just saying that we shouldn’t sweat small stuff or refuse to inflexibly forgive. Sometimes to forgive is to love and we shouldn’t blame others for our own flaws or lack of understanding, for the inability to listen or give compassion. We shouldn’t consider mistakes unforgivable without considering first the heart and mind, along with the circumstances and prevailing winds that drove this individual to commit an error of whatever proportions. Within reason, we should do our best to not give up on someone we love.

That which defines us is rarely our total sum, but rather some of our most outstanding features. And then there’s our own perception of ourselves, the way we imagine we are. This can deviate dramatically from the way others view us. It can tilt and shift and grow as we cut ourselves slack, or realize that what we think is bad might seem pretty darn good or not half so bad to somebody else. Like those minor imperfections we blow out of proportion that don’t matter to anyone but us, and perhaps a gaggle of people whose opinions don’t really count.

Yet we may form habits that are not so good and need to be given up, sacrificed or abandoned because it isn’t who we are anymore . . . isn’t healthy or wise, rational or proper. Maybe it hurts those we care about deepest and least wish to harm. The ones who are close enough to be the most injured, the most affected by reckless or compulsive acts.

It can be difficult to improve. Sometimes we just need somebody to believe in us to make us try harder. Somebody to serve as a moral compass, a Jiminy Cricket, an angel on our shoulder. Whether reflected in the glaring light of scorn or gazing from the lenses of our introspective looking-glasses, we may excuse and justify lapses in judgement as easily as to criticize ourselves and others. Don’t give in to the Dark Side. Be yourself, as long as you can live with who you are.

Sure, we expect products we buy to meet certain standards. We expect people to behave within limits. We impose restrictions and regulations in an effort to achieve a sense of justice and peace and stability in an unjust and chaotic and unstable world. Some causes are worth fighting for and we have to try. We have to keep trying. We can never give up the battle. As we can never stop aiming to do better, be better, live better, and find “happiness”.

We can be happy in an imperfect world. Not every second. Not every day all day. But for moments, and sometimes immense measures. We can find joy. And peace. And hope. Whether it’s inside ourselves or shared with others. Whether it’s fair or unbalanced or complicatedly uncommon. We need to accept and adjust to an offbeat tempo, to the highs and lows and topsy-turvies, while remaining true to our hearts. Not perfect. Not plastic. Not without problems and suffering and knots and blunders. Just human. And trying our best to stay that way.