have managed to avoid most addictions along my journey, yet I must confess here and now that I am hopelessly — helplessly — haplessly (take your pick) passionate about words. There, I’ve said it. Spilled my guts all over this page. I feel less burdened by the dark dire secret I have carried for too long.

’Tis no laughing matter, but a rare and serious cravence that affects the odd bibliophilic scrivener once in a purple moon.

The disorder has brought me nothing but pain and misery, tormented by criticism for using words extravagantly. Not redundantly, of course; I am obsessively and compulsively opposed to that. For abusing adjectives abundantly. For pumping my sentences with the plumiage of excess verbiage. I will even resort to homemade concoctions!

I must admit there is no limit to the amount of words I revel, nay, wallow in. And I shall never amend my ways, never attend a Word Watchers meeting, for I am deliriously hooked and proud of it.

Oh, the disgrace and inglorious shame.

Being incapable of resisting the urge, I composed a poem regarding this unfortunate disease and, yes, it contains . . . words. I ask that you read it with compassion and try not to judge or pity me.


I have a terrible affliction

I like bon-mottery alottery

And stir diction in my fiction

Molding adjectives like pottery


I love words, quite pure and simple

Also fancy and profound

Young and old, dimpled or apimple

Skinny-mini, plump and round


Positive or negative

Giddy, rhyming, elaborately verbose

Hyperactive, lazily laxative

Tentative, brash, superfluose


Past-tense or present

Futuristic, archaic, slanged

Random, stilted, or incessant

Sugar-coated or harangued


Vernacular and jargon

Queries and hypotheses

Ten-dollar or a bargain

I flaunt and flout them all with ease


It really doesn’t matter

As long as they communicate

Whether silly or syllabiliac

But wait, there is one type I hate


As an animal-lover can shudder

At the scurry of a roach

And humanity care for each other

Yet find some kinds to reproach


I detest the foulest haughties

Spoke by every tongue

The nasties and the naughties

I dislike them every one


Slander, insults, mockery

Phrases cruelly flung

Abusive contusive wockery

Jibber-jabber blindly slung


Crude words, wrathful rude words

Vehement, sly, or minced

Grifted, grafted, crabbily crafted

Keenly carved and pinced


Terms thrust like swords and daggers

Tossed careless to the wind

The rot-mottish curse of braggers

That stings the thickest-skinned


Such panderings and slanderings

Which increasingly abound

Can harm the ears of little dears

Sensitive to the sound


Think twice before you speak

What isn’t very nice

Heed well the pain you wreak

And follow my advice


Not to swear a blue streak angrily

When at your wit’s deep ends

Choose your words as carefully

As you should pick your friends


On my list of baneful motteries

There’s another I abhor

The flagrance of redundancies

Please don’t use them anymore.

~ Published ~
December 11, 2009

Spread The Word

Related Books

A humorous and serious collection of poems, prose and song lyrics by Lori R. Lopez, author of CHOCOLATE-COVERED . . .

A collection of very unusual verse, ranging from wacky to dark to narrative. Lori R. Lopez writes her . . .

A rich gathering of poetry with a dismal twilight atmosphere, a brooding nature, an eerie tone . . . . .

This dark, silly, and serious sequel to KEEP THE HEART OF A CHILD and THE QUEEN OF HATS . . .

A part of Poetic Reflections: The Column by Lori R. Lopez

You might also enjoy . . .